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hehehe it's amazing how funny some things can be. mom, laura and i went to the bennett middle school fields to watch them play delmar... only we were like 45 min late. after 10 minutes of trying to figure out the freakishly confusing parking lot, we discovered a few reasons to leave. a) the game was pretty much over, anyway and b) another, um, thing. none of us felt like dealing with mentioned "thing," so, we left, and went to giant to get some milk, coke (the drink, not the drug!), and pick up pictures. PICTURES! from the notorious slip-n-slide and then the beginning of my party (meaning up until the bumper cars). :) yay! now i have pics to frame and hang on my oh-so-bare walls. oh, and i can send them to people too, and brighten their days. whoohoo!
in the middle of all this, i would like to note that mom, laura and i get along perfectly, and we laugh a lot when we're together. we come home, and everything changes. this is not a good thing.
noooow, go eat whipped cream on a spoon! just DO IT! |
OK GUYS. when tayn's back from AK, julia's back from VT, and sarah's back from wherever she is (maybe she's back already? maybe juls is back too?) then i am coming up and we are all going to dye our hair. yes! not any of that permanent crap... but semi-permanent, i think :) or even that bedhead one-wash-and-it's-"gone" stuff. but we'd have to take a video camera, and visit some parents or something. oooh, priceless. anyhow, going to go shower, read some of Dorian Gray then go watch part of a bennett summer fh game.
still effing scared out of my mind, but a really nice letter from a duke undergrad admissions lady has brought a little reassurance. i hope i'll be able to look back on all of this and laugh. |
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i am scared out of my mind right now, and i'm not exactly sure why. |
just got back from Tokyo Diner, the food was ok... nothing like Benihana's (sp?) though. the sukiyaki beef i got was kinda dry, but the sauce stuff was really good. and the sushi was EXCELLENT. the guy who was serving us was funny, he called everyone "baby" and he called granny "baby grandma." so, yes, the look on her face was priceless. :) the guy flipped a bunch of shrimp up, and we all caught some in our mouths. well, everyone except mom... she tried 4 times and missed every time. there was much wasted shrimp on the floor. ::sadness::
i love it when little kids do that thing where they're thinking really hard about something and say "ummmmmmmmmmm" really loudly with a wide open mouth, then suddenly slump down, look at you, and make up an answer with a shrug of their shoulders. it's an i-want-to-put-that-in-a-box kinda thing, if you know what i mean ;)
when i am a mother, i will never let my husband buy two half gallons of ice cream, a box of devil food cookies, krispey kremes, and chips for my child all in the same night. especially if the child in question (not to mention the husband) needs to learn how to eat correctly. and (even more) especially if i knew that it was a form of bribery in which my husband was trying to win over my childs affections. that just wouldn't fly. also: i think it's disgusting when the child eats the entire box of cookies in the space of a few hours. uggh.
(the lessons i learn from my father and sister just may come in handy at some point in my life. who knows...) |
i've just educated mom in the ways of billy joel - she'd never heard this song before! of all the crazy things... :) we just got back from atlantic bookstore and blockbusters. i've very proud of myself - found a $6 hardbound copy of Light In August, a $4 paperback copy of The Picture of Dorian Gray, and a $3 little hardbound book called Scottish Myths. all in all it was a good trip. oh, and we got "The Importance of Being Earnest" and "The Recruit" at blockbusters... we'll see if they're any good.
also, i think i'll write a letter of complaint to M and M company... is it Hershey? everytime i've opened a bag of M and M's, the bag tears all the way down to the bottom, and the M and M's go everywhere. we had to use the Atlantic Bookstore bag to catch them in the car... disgraceful! |
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i have a major craving for handel's peach ice cream. soon, lindsay, soon... also, mom has just told me that we (meaning my dad's family, or who's here) are going to a japanese steakhouse on sunday. upside - SUSHI! downside - well, it's dad's family. nevertheless, SUSHI!!!!! |
spent around $40 at target, buying random cool things. the most expensive thing i bought was like $5. go me, and go targét (and thank you target for all the clearance stickers that are easily switched... muahaha!). by now i suppose joe's on a plane to oregon, and bridget's in thailand. where's everyone else? well, julia's in vermont, natanya's in alaska, and sarah's at home, i think. note: call her about a certain party that needs to be planned. *grin* oh, and the t-shirts... we have to write down all the sayings first though, i guess.
it's amazing how much the show home improvement can teach you.
"i want to be steel clothed in grace." |
today i
finished two books
ran through a field
cleaned
wrote two letters
spent an hour playing my flute - without sheet music
spent an hour listing, and felt better for it
sat up straight
drew my hands in every possible position i could think of
smiled at my father, and felt worse for it
made a picture collage
played with a water yo-yo
i would like to encourage everyone to do something that i did a few days ago... take some little pieces of paper, write something philisophical on it, and leave it in a magazine at some huge store. maybe hang around for awhile to see if someone finds it. i wrote "drop a dollar on the street for someone to find - it'll make their day", stuck it in rolling stone in a clemens grocery store, then helped my grandpa find everything on his shopping list. as we were walking out i saw this teenager drop a dollar by the cart dropoff place, smile, and walk away. and he had a copy of rolling stone in his bag. it was great. |
green river flows
like grass melting
later it will run black
down its track
into an ocean
she stands on the bridge
dimlight on her back
someday
i will carry you
so many things have happened in the last two weeks... and now i'm in a position where i can either accept everything and then run away in two years, or completely fuck some peoples lives up. well, whatever i decide in the next few days will determine a) where i am for the next two years and probably b) where i'll be for the four years following that. so yeah, big decision, and i have no idea what i'm going to do. of course, this is assuming that dad keeps his cool, and doesn't go beserk again... if he does, all bets are off.
I want to float higher
above waves of electric wires
stare down onto the street
see a drunk with kiln-glazed eyes
tellin' me about the girl I should meet
against all odds, i got to see joe today for like an hour. made me feel so much better... shocking, isn't it? muahaha. it's a no-win situation, really.
someday
i will carry you |
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happy 4th!!! things are crazy here, and i love it :) |
i know i should stop going through all this stuff, but it's so amusing! here's a "timed writing" that i did in mrs. rees' 8th grade eng class. it shows how much i liked middle school quite well, i think.
"I learned nothing in middle school. No, actually, maybe I did learn something, but not much. I learned that lockers hurt when you get pushed into them, and to stay away from 6ft guys with 2 or more eyebrow piercings. But wait, you ask: 'What have you REALLY learned?' Well, in sixth grade there was all the normal stuff, math, english, geography, social studies and science. Oh wait, I forgot, no science. It got better in seventh grade. We did have a science class, and now I can tell you the five different kinds of skunks there are in Pennsylvania and what they look like. In English we diagrammed sentences. Haven't actually used that yet... The best part of seventh grade was the math class. Such a joke! Talking was the main priority, not that that's a bad thing mind you. However, it was the teacher that was doing all the talking, and not one thing she said was related to math. Want to know the name and age of her dog? I can tell you. And now we're in eighth grade. coming out of this year, I'll know how to fold a letter. Ha."
keep in mind that i turned this in to mrs. rees for a grade. she actually wrote, "No comment" on it. hehe. |
whoa, it's july already. cool. anyway, i'm sitting here going through old school crap, partially because i'm bored, and partially because i need to get rid of some of it and joe's adventures in cleaning have inspired me to :)
(Joe: my room was clean 2 years ago)
i think it's kinda funny that we learned stuff like charles law, and boyles law way back in mr. walker's science class. that kinda stuff was just on my chem final. if i could just remember the stuff i learn in school from year to year.. i'd be set.
it's kinda funny to look back on some of these classes, and realize how worthless they were. (mrs. kessler's 6th grade geography class, mrs. kopp's 7th grade math class, mrs. marino/rees' 8th grade eng class, mrs. mummerts freshmen geometry class, every health class EVER...) and then how great other classes were (mrs. hartenstein's 7th grade eng class, mr. jackson's 8th grade alg class, mr guerin's 9th grade "am stud" class, mrs. brown's 10th grade alg 2 class, mr. barley's 10th grade eng class, and all of mrs. fero's classes...). hmmm. there goes mrs. kopp's math stuff... there goes srta's spanish stuff... never thought i ever throw spanish stuff away :) i've never had to look at it though, so that's that. i really should have done this before we moved, because let me tell you, the boxes that all these notebooks were in were HEAVY. whoa, here's some spanish stuff explaining definite articles. um, whoa. sentences like, "Pablo es un muchacho." hehe. oh, and there's an english portfolio. oh my, here's an essay i wrote in 8th grade about how the us should have stoppped trade with china, ekk. this is some fun stuff. ah well, gotta go finish finish this, and pack because
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OMGAMSOHAPPY! dads not coming to ainee's! *grin*
will now go clean my room, and pack, in anticipation of maybe leaving tomorrow. will also go get an oreo.
oh, and i made a hemp necklace today... my fingers hurt. |
I'm terza rima, and I talk and smile.
Where others lock their rhymes and thoughts away
I let mine out, and chatter all the while.
I'm rarely on my own - a wasted day
Is any day that's spent without a friend,
With nothing much to do or hear or say.
I like to be with people, and depend
On company for being entertained;
Which seems a good solution, in the end. |
What Poetry Form Are You?
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the irony, it burns!!
does anyone know anything about Villanova? apparently i'm visiting it with my cousin jonothan and my uncle paul next monday, and don't want to be completely ignorant. :) that's a first, eh? but yes, jon really wants to go there, which is awesome. the trip should prove to be very very funny and very very amusing. we shall see.
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They painted up your secrets
With the lies the told to you
And the least they ever gave you
Was the most you ever knew
And I wonder where these dreams go
When the world gets in your way
What's the point in all this screaming
No one's listening anyway
Your voice is small and fading
And you hide in here unknown
And your mother loves your father
Cause she's got nowhere to go
And she wonders where these dreams go
Cause the world got in her way
What's the point in ever trying
Nothing's changing anyway
They press their lips against you
And you love the lies they say
And I tried so hard to reach you
But you're falling anyway
And you know I see right through you
Cause the world got in your way
What's the point in all this screaming
You're not listening anyway
~ acoustic #3 - goo goo dolls |
DREAM!!!
if you know me well enough, you'll know that i do not, under any circumstances, remember my dreams. this is the first one i've remembered since the last time i wrote about one...
don't remember how it started at all... but the first thing i can really remember was that there were a bunch of us all in this house on the bay, and it had one of those really long wrap around prches. i had been walking around this porch, got to the end, and kept walking onto the sand. i feel like there might have been a restaurant or something on the ground floor of the house... but that's just weird and irrelevant. but, i kept walking, and eventually found myself swimming. this part lasted a really long time, and i don't remember exactly what was happening, but i do remember that i somehow swam in a circle, and ended up back at the house unintentionally. the only thing that separated me from the porch was this long sandbar type thing, that had plants growning on it. i kept trying to find a place to cross the sandbar, but there were all these submerged ducks that i could see - it was really weird, they were bright pink, and were sitting on nests underwater. i really didn't want to step on them... anyway, somehow i ended up back at the house.
just remembered how i think the dream started. i was in this string of soldier-type people, and we were walking along this long dirt road to get to the house. we all had on blue knit pants, white shirts, and blue knit bowler hats. it looked like someones grandma had attacked us or something. along came these other soldier-types, who were walking the other way. one or two people, including myself, ran out to the front of our line to make fun of these other people. i remember that they had on these blue knit jackets, and that we were really jealous.... heheh. they eventually past us, and the 3 of us who had made fun of them were afraid that we were going to get in trouble. i remember not wanting to be walking ahead of some of the leaders, for fear of being disrespectful.
this is all very disjointed, but i'm assuming that this is when we got to the house. the rest of the soldiers had disappeared, except for this one lady and i. she said that i would have to read a book to make up for my behavior. i went upstairs and opened the bottom drawer of my dresser, and found a huge yellowish looking new book. i forget the title, but it was a really famous book. war and peace maybe? but i went back downstairs and told her that there was no way that i was reading that. she smirked at me.
then i remember milling about downstairs with a bunch of people. mrs. winters, elizabeth, laura, my mom, purcell, the weird lady and joe were all there. maybe ainee was too, i don't know. i don't remember what we were all doing, either. hmmm...
somehow joe and i nded up in a room that looked like our old master bedroom, except it was bigger, and had wooden walls. people were still walking around, but we were talking in this room. somehow he ended up with a huge orange slice in his mouth (kinda like at homecoming?). i had asked him something that had to do with purcell and laura packard, and he was shaking his head and trying to talk around the orange. it looked like he had forgotten that the orange was there - he was much more animated than he usually is, and it was really really funny. but i remember being very surprised at what he was telling me - that they weren't together anymore. mrs winters eventually walked by, looked at joe, and took the orange out of his mouth. he looked very sheepish. :)
there's a lot more, but it's a) very long and i want to go eat something rather than sit here and type and b) very very strange. so, that'll be all for now!
oh, and mom just informed me that our pool heater is not broken, it shut itself off automatically. so, yes, wonder how dad feels now? |
i want to cry i am so bored. i think i've said maybe 4 sentences today, because there is no one to talk to, nowhere to go and nothing to do. well, i guess i could talk to mom, but i don't want to while dads around. i want absolutely nothing to do with him, and cringe if i have to look at him, the asshole. rar. how has my mom done this for 6 months? at least i had to go to school. admittedly, i didn't talk to anyone there either, but at least i was preoccupied. so today i woke up at 1, after going to bed at five, ate breakfast, read some of les mis, and sat in my room... and here i am. i miss having friends around... now i remember why every summer except last summer sucked so much. grr. maybe i'll just go to sleep now.
or MAYBE i'll read harry potter in spanish! bwhahaha! |
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,
Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken,
To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin!
His head smashed in and his heart cut out
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off
And his pen--
if anyone can get past the third riddle, tell me, because it's really bothering me...
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i feel like a hermit. there's absolutely nothing to do, and after a week of this, i'm quite sick of it. i've read 6 books, drawn many puffins (don't ask :) ), written a couple letters, gone running/biking every day, and eaten much chocolate. oh, and i haven't gone to bed before 3 since school ended. ah, summer... it's supposed to be filled with friends, and fun stuff etc... breathing smoke and paint fumes while trying to think of something to do is NOT my idea of fun. grr. i apoligize for my complaining, but the whole let's-be-anitsocial thing that my family has going on right now is not cool.
ANYWAY! let's see, what interesting things happened on my bike ride yesterday... well, i found a bamboo forest, and a field with a biohazard sign posted next to it. the ironic thing was that next to the biohazard sign there was a sign saying that there was a soccer camp also located at that address. ummm, ok? oh, and i actually saw TWO, count 'em, TWO people running. not jogging, not walking, not staggering along like a near-dead gorilla, but RUNNING! i was very happy and waved, and THEY ACTUALLY WAVED BACK! whoohoo!!
will go watch more wimbleton now. hooters radio commercials are irritating, as are those pohanka ones. lala...! |
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humid summer night... it just rained and there's steam coming up from the street... no wind... and i miss everyone :/ |
haha, i win. a couple days ago i journeyed (sp?) to our hot-as-hell attic, and retrieved the power cord from our really old computer. so now i'm back online, how fun! it's amazing how much i've gotten done by NOT having a computer (even for like, one day). i've read goodbye mr. chips, finished thunder from the east, read half of les mis, and am currently completely and utterly absorbed by the new Harry Potter bible-sized book. oops, bad analogy, sorry... :)
thoughts:
1. the only time i can really smell how smokey our house is is right after i get out of the shower
2. somehow, all the crap that's on the floor in my room ends up in the middle of the floor, rather than on the sides or shoved under the bed. alas, i couldn't just be normal... heh
3. harry potter is a sniveling, whiney little kid. 'nuff said. the evil things are so much more interesting.
4. special-k blueberry bars are very good. i highly recommend them.
5. i can't wait till the 4th of july, because then i won't have to be here, and *maybe* i'll get to see joe. cross your fingers.
6. also can't wait until i'm done high school and can leave and go to college. it will be wonderful.
7. note to self: always stretch after running/doing situps and pushups. said practice will greatly facilitate the morning ritual of, ahem, getting out of bed.
8. is anyone else from the party finding that their skin doesn't like staying attached to their body? maybe it's from too much water, what with all the random pool-jumping (/being thrown into the pool), showers, and beachness.
time to shower, and read some more. i was just thinking that i really want to send someone a huge package with really cool stuff in it. wouldn't that be fun? hehe... *grin* |
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yeah, so now i'm not allowed to use the computer (dad actually hid the power cord thingy for mine), the phone, see anyone from york, drive, or ride my bike. i'm pretty much under house arrest. why you ask? because i got up from the dinner tale to avoid a huge confrontation that ended up happening anyway. so, if anyone wants to talk to me, you'll have to call during the day when dad's not home, or send me an email that i'll check on my sister's computer. bye for now. |
and it's very loud. i originally had my cd player on, with the mix cd that laura (newcomer) gave me, but the music from outside is actually louder than i had my cd on. by the way mi amiga laura, it's a very good cd :) gracias! anyway, gonna go for a walk around the neighborhood circuit, and figure out why these people feel the need to play their music so loud. maybe it's a benefit concert in someones backyard! *grin* more later.
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well, the music stopped, and i started writing a letter, so i didn't walk around the block after all...
the party was awesome. with the exception of the whole ride-finding thing, everything worked out. well, kinda. there's the bit with the pool, but we didn't figure that out until this morning. we had a water balloon fight with water balloons that didn't like to break, randomly jumped in the pool, played cards, went to the beach/boardwalk and this not so great pizza place where we took an insane amount of pictures, then stayed up all night playing sardines. bill, zareen, joe and i ended up getting in the pool again at 5:30 in the morning, it was crazy. i am currently putting anti-itch cream on the half dozen mosquito bites i received as a souvenir of two night ago. funness. want to go get the new harry potter book now. oh, and i've decided to attempt to read a chapter of harry potter y el cáliz de fuego a day. we'll see how that goes.
<3 Lil
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heh, back again. there IS a concert ish thing going on Manchester Ct., and there are a heck of a lot of cars parked along the street/in driveways. the woman singer can't really sing, or at least i don't like her voice, but the drummer/guitar players are pretty good. all of their songs are oldies though, nothing original... though maybe that's a good thing? oh, and dad's out "looking over" the pool. maybe he's sad. probably. blah. |
nothings really going on... party tomorrow through saturday though, hope it doesn't rain :
With so much drama in L-B-C
It's kinda hard bein Snoop D-O-double-G
But I, I somehow, some way
Keep comin up funky ass shit nearly every single day
Can I, kick a little something for the G's
and, make a few friends as I breeze through
Dontcha know it's
Two in the mornin and the party's still jumpin
cause my momma ain't home |
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